Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Reflect and Ponder (33) - Relationship Relief

In today's times, one of the biggest tragedies that we are witnessing is the failing of relationship after relationship. Whether it is husband and wife (this is by far the most abused and broken one from the list) or a brother and sister, or parent and child, or any other relationship, people just can't seem to get along with those around them.

So, the question is, how do we make it work?? What is the solution??

Well, frankly speaking, I am no relationship councelor, but open pondering over the calamity at hand, a few points come to mind, which although are quite obvious, but InshaAllah, they will shed a bit of light on the matter from a purely Islamic Shar'ii perspective, and be of benefit to someone.

1.) The relationship should be built upon a solid foundation of TRUST. Without this main component, a relationship can not last. It is very important for a husband and wife to trust each other, and not entertain any doubts whatsoever about their partner regarding anything. Almost always, these doubts are just the weapons of Shaytaan that he uses to break away trust, and are usually without any proof whatsoever.

2.) There should be an UNDERSTANDING between the husband and wife, and not a MISUNDERSTANDING. What this simply means is that each one should try and understand the other, know exactly what he/she is trying to say, and what exactly is happening in that person's life, and not be quick to make assumptions. How many relationships are broken because one of the two made an assumption about the other, not bothering to find out the reality, not trying to understand. The basis of this point is actually GOOD COMMUNICATION between the spouses. Relationships fail because the spouses fail to communicate with each other, and bad communication (or no communication) leads to misunderstandings which then destroy the marital bond.

3.) To be FORGIVING and not to harbour in your heart ill feelings for your spouse. We are humans and humans are very far from being perfect. Let us accept this, and forgive one another just like we would like to be forgiven by them, and just like how we would like Allah to forgive our innumerable sins. One of the main problems is that boys and girls go into marriage with this mentality that our spouse should be perfect and faultless. When, after marriage, they see the reality, they are not ready to accept. We all make mistakes, and thus we should all be tolerant with other people's mistakes, and not react in such a way which will be destructive. However, with FORGIVE there should also be FORGET. Many people forgive the mistakes of others, but they aren't prepared to forget. Many a times, an argument erups between the husband and wife, and old mistakes are dug up anew, which just adds fuel to the fire and makes matters worse. Every night, a husband and wife should sleep with a completely clean heart.

These three points require quite a bit of detail, but I have chosen to just touch on them briefly, knowing that people don't have time to read long articles, and attention spans are also very short.
May Allah make it a means of benefit, and may Allah bless us with relationships that last forever, ameen.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Reflect and Ponder (32) - Everlasting Support

Out of His endless mercy and sheer kindness upon His helpless slaves, Allah (swt) creates for us, in the arduous journey of life, pillars of support all around us, people from within our family, from our relatives, our friends, and sometimes, people whom we never knew.

 Allah brings these people into our lives to make our perilous journey a bit easier. These are the ones who are forever at our side, in grief and sorrow, as well as in happiness, always there to offer us their support and encouragement, give us that push that we always need to be able to achieve our best, to give us the will to keep moving forward even when we don't want to, to light up our horizon with beams of hope even when utter hoplessness engulfs us from every direction.

However, there is a point in life, when Allah, in His eternal wisdom, suddenly takes away these pillars of support. A person feels alone, scared, depressed, confused, not knowing what to do. He feels like he was walking in the night on a path which was illuminated by bright lamps on either side, and suddenly they are extinguished, and he is left stranded in the pitch darkness, unable to even take a step forward.

Allah does this for a reason. He wants us to realize that our only real support in this life is Him and no one else. Our only source of hope and help, strength and endurance, is only Allah. So long as we have those pillars of support around us, we will keep forgetting this reality. When Allah takes away these pillars, even temporarily, we are forced to turn to Him, to fall into sajdah and shed those tears that are so precious in the sight of Allah. This becomes a means of strengthening our connection with Him, and the fearful person in the darkness will only understand why the lamps were snuffed out, when the sun of Allah's support and help, millions of times brighter than the lamps, rises and generates an everlasting illumination. Thus, a seemingly big setback turns into an even greater bounty.
 This is the wisdom of Allah which very few comprehend.

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Reflect and Ponder (31)

My dear brothers and sisters,,,, we turn away from the beautiful lifestyle of that Nabi (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) who sacrificed his hometown, his comfort, his family, his sweat, and his blood for us, and we turn towards the lifestyle of those who kill our brothers and sisters all over the world, those people who have open enmity for us, and who are leaving no stone unturned in trying to erase the very existence of Islam from the face of this earth - the west, and the Yahood. Are we doing any justice to our beloved?

 Have we become so blind to reality?

Please, let us open our eyes before it is too late, we need to stop letting our enemies tell us how to lead our lives, and we have to start living according to the pristine principles set out for us more than fourteen centuries ago. This is the only hope for our salvation and success.

Saturday, 19 January 2013

Reflect and Ponder (30)

The more you run after this dunya, the more it will run further away from you, and you will spend your entire life in this fruitless chase, to no avail until suddenly you find yourself at the foot of your grave, ready to enter it, about which, while you were involved in pursuing dunya, you completely forgot that this was what you were really heading towards, your final destination.

However, if you turn your back towards Dunya, then it will come tamely after you, in disgrace, ready to kiss your feet.

This is the deception of this dunya, which very few people understand, which is why the majority waste their lives in this same pointless pursuit, and when they do realise, then the grave is already staring them in the face, and time has run out.

My dear beloved brothers and sisters, don't be from amongst those majority. Let us realize the reality now, while we still have time, before it is too late. Otherwise, there will be nothing but regret, such a regret which will be of absolutely no use.

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